Things build up in our brains IF we’re not careful & deliberate about keeping them clutter-free… So, I’m trying to unpack & process the stuff that’s been piling up in my skull. It’s always helpful for me to make lists of things that simply ‘come out’ as I’m seeking clarity (and sanity) or at least a healthy version of insanity. Ha! It’s good to ask tough questions, analyze thoughts that seem out-of-place and just give myself permission to vent, ponder, and confess.  Then I take those written thoughts right to my Abba Father’s lap. He’s so wise and, ultimately IS the answer.

So, here’s what I’m extracting from my cerebral cortex at 2:27am…

• This Sunday will be the last ‘regular’ morning service (Awakening) that I will do in Hamtramck. After that, it’s just NightLight (Saturdays @ 8pm) until our Midtown Detroit campus happens… it’s gonna happen, right?!
• My wife and a few key team members are in Chicago right now to attend “The Story” – it’s weird being Mr. Mom & staying home. But, it just seemed right – I’m sure, in time, I’ll know more.  As of now, my little boy Chase is, again, struggling w/ coughing & feeling horrible.
• Would I go anywhere IF Christ told me to GO?
• I’ve been working out faithfully (elliptical & weights) and eating healthier; yet today I discovered that I’ve actually gained a few lbs… what?! I’m not gonna quit – I’m determined to kick my body into obedience. Wish I hadn’t waited SO long.
• The Lord replied,“Look around at the nations; look and be amazed! For I am doing something in your own day, something you wouldn’t believe even if someone told you about it.” Habakkuk 1:5 – I’m hangin’ on to this word that I feel God spoke into my life (and church) at the end of May 2009… it’s so hard to be patient.
• Today I was cancelled as speaker for a camp in July 2010 (they double-booked & I lost) and then, someone else invited me to speak at a Pastor’s Conference in Sweden in March 2010. That works.
• Am I being the best husband & father that I could be?  What needs to improve?!
• I’m still in the middle of writing our next Sermon Series: “Deck the Mall” …I really want to be dead-on w/ this – God wants to set people FREE this holiday season.
• How’s my discipleship & mentoring passion being lived out & applied???
• I was approaching this week to kind of jump-start me into a more manageable sleep regiment… then, Chase got sick and I’ve averaged 3-4 hours per night.  I can tell tonight will be more of the same. Maybe I’ll never be ‘normal’ (at least in regards to sleep) – wait a second, normal has never been my goal for ANYTHING!
• Should I travel & speak more or less?
• Have I done enough to prepare the Hamtramck campus – leadership & community – to thrive, grow & accomplish WAY more than I could have taken them? Am I ok watching it improve? Ok, that last question I can answer right now, YES!! As for the first question… we’ll see! I won’t stop praying!
• Is it safe to land? ( a Jars of Clay thing… listening to them at the moment).
• Is doing blog posts like this good for others to read or is this kind of vulnerability a distraction, discouragement or confusion for those close to me? (feel free to throw a comment at this one…)
• I love Jesus.

I hope that those close to me don’t panic or take any of this stuff the wrong way – I’m not having second-thoughts or crazy doubts & fears – I’m just thinking outloud, yet again… it’s good for my faith.

After I write things out like this, I grab my Bible, journal & pen and get somewhere where God speaks clearly to me.  And like King Hezekiah (2 Kings 19) I lay it all out in front of God.  Sometimes I get solid answers, others times I’m told to “wait”… but either way, I’m with HIM and that brings peace between my ears and courage to my heart.

Hope this walk into my life is helpful to you. We need to figure out ways to unpack our junk so that we can press on… that’s what tonight’s exercise was all about for me.

processing… Chilly

- Chase is crying & coughing – another night of daddy ministry. Its all good.